"While I was there, I worked on myself by surrendering completely to the situation and worked on my relationship with God. I spoke to Him almost every second of the day and without Him, I would not be here today."

The old me

My name is Sean Thompson; I am a grateful recovering addict who struggles with drug and alcohol addiction. I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 18 years old and my addiction lasted 19 years.

The insanity of my life before recovery

My addiction started when I was in college, in what I thought was just innocent fun, having a few drinks with friends, often in parks and eventually night clubs and bars. Being under age at the time, I had a fake I.D made to gain entry to some of these places and continued to go out as often as I could. Even driving without a license was no worry to me.

I used to go out during the week too and get horribly intoxicated every time! I even started smoking cigarettes because I thought it was cool.

When I left college, I got my first job as a driver. One day my boss’ son came to the office and I was introduced to him. We got along well and he invited me to come and hang-out with him and his friends anytime if I wanted too. I had just moved to the area, so I was keen to make new friends.

So one Friday afternoon, I met up with my new friends after work and we started off by having a few drinks. A little while later, I noticed one of the guys rolling what I thought was a cigarette. It was actually marijuana and I was politely offered a drag or two. I had never smoked the stuff in my life and I thought why not? These guys were enjoying it, so I wanted some too! Needless to say, I had green fever within minutes because it was so potent!

The next weekend, we met up again and I was introduced to diet pills and my friends referred to them as “cheap uppers”! I wasn’t quite familiar with the terms they used but caught on quickly as my addiction started to unfold. I liked the “feel good” I got from these diet pills and was eventually using them on a daily basis at almost a box each day. The pharmacists started getting suspicious of me and started asking questions I didn’t like. So from one chemist to the next, I was buying these things in bulk so that I could stock up. I lost weight and my drive for life so fast but kept telling myself that I needed them to cope. I used them for absolutely everything I did. Nobody at the time knew of my addiction to diet pills because they were so cheap and not illegal. I wasn’t getting into trouble with anybody but myself! Little did I know that I was a full blown amphetamine addict? My addiction to diet pills lasted all of five years, during which time I smoked marijuana every night, thinking it would help me sleep, it only made things worse, yet the insanity continued.

 

I was soon introduced to cocaine by some thugs I met at a pool club and for about two years that became my drug of choice amongst the rest of the stuff I was using. Amongst all this chaos, I was drinking every night. I was invited to a rave party one weekend and was introduced to Ecstasy and being the overboard consumer I was, I became heavily addicted to Ecstasy, pure MDMA and GHB. I was using it 24/7 even during working hours.  

One evening I was too intoxicated to drive home so I went back to work and slept at my desk. The next morning I woke up to my boss unlocking the front door and when he came in he thought I had gotten to work early, I just went along with that. It wasn’t long and these shenanigans continued, therefore the quality of my work decreased and I was offered a job in P.E so in turn I resigned.

Life in P. E was great but the drinking continued without the drugs as I did not know where to buy the drugs. Needless to say I moved back to JHB after about 6 months and myself and my girlfriend at the time broke up. This through me into huge depression and I started using much more harmful drugs – anything I could get my hands on – LSD , Cocaine , Ketamine , Pure Ephedrine, Ecstasy, CAT, Rocks, Marijuana and any medication that made me high. My personal life crashed and I tried to commit suicide for the firsttime, it took two long years of misery to get to a better place.

I battled to find work for a while and one night I picked up drugs and the dealer asked me if I wanted to work for him. I jumped at the opportunity and quickly started selling drugs. Life seemed great as I was going out every night, partying up a storm and had an endless supply of drugs too. How delusional was I? These drugs were not mine, I had to sell them, it wasn’t long and I was in debt to the king pins of a well known security corporation and had to run for my life – literally. On the way back from a friend of mines house I wrote off my car because I was wasted, now I had no car to run with. The word on the street was that there was a hit on me. By this time I had been kicked out of my friend’s town house where I was living and was now on the street. I used to climb in through the window of my friend of mines restaurant at night and sleep on the couch and then slip out early in the morning to beg for food and money, then one morning a friend of mine told me that he heard about the hit on me and suggested I go with him to the coast to get away. The people I was working for soon tracked me down and I was chased out of a night club and I had to run for my life. I knew I had to pay these people back otherwise they were going to kill me. I managed to pay them back by borrowing money from my friend and I walked away from the “gang” life still very afraid.

I moved to JHB South and stayed with a friend of mine who also used drugs and we started using heavily together night after night and it was chaos. I started stealing from work to support my habit and was eventually fired.

This led me to my first rehab for one month. There after I moved back to my parent’s house and found a job at an engineering company as a Draughtsman. It was the highest paying job I have ever had and soon I relapsed and the using continued. I was spending R 800.00 per day on my habit and my family could see the destruction happening. I told them I was just paying off lots of debt. Eventually, on pay day’s I would buy myself expensive things like music equipment etc. to stop myself from spending the money on drugs , but was eventually selling those items at the pawn shops to get money and soon I banned myself from the pawn shops in another attempt to stop myself from using. The madness continued as I started borrowing money from the banks and that soon lead me into deep debt. After been fired form my new job for misconduct and violent behaviour, I moved to my sister’s house and tried to start my life over. I stole from my sister’s daughter and Pamela wanted to have me arrested. I begged her not to do it, and she told me that if I did not sign up at Mighty Wings she would have me arrested.

So I joined the program, and started working on my recovery. I landed an amazing job and my bosses supported me in my recovery. After about 8 months at Might Wings, I met a girl on the program and we started seeing each other, totally against the cornerstone rules of Mighty Wings. I was called into a meeting and denied everything. I left angrily and decided not to go back to Mighty Wings. Things got progressively worse at work and one day I got ill and was admitted into hospital. The doctors did not know what was wrong with me, but I was covered in sores from head to toe. They took lots of blood tests and I told the doctor that I was a drug addict and he said that it was the drugs that had done this to my blood and caused my liver and pancreas to almost fail. He also told me that if my condition does not improve, I have no more than two days to live or I would need a liver transplant. After hearing this I was depressed and thought I would end it in style so I phoned the drug dealer and used for three days in hospital. Miraculously, I recovered and was discharged form hospital. I went back to work and continued to use. Financially I was broke so I started stealing from work to support my habits. One day my boss noticed some of his things were missing and threatened to call the police, so I admitted to the theft and he booked me into an in patient rehab for two weeks. When I came out myself and my girlfriend continued to use and two months later I was fired. I booked myself into the same rehab for one month and I came out in February 2013 and started using again within two months. By May last year myself and my girlfriend broke up and I went into a downward spiral addiction including the abuse of my psych meds. On the 25thof May 2013 I tried to commit suicide and my sister found me, luckily there was a paramedic in unit number 1 in our complex who rushed to the scene and saved my life. I thank my sister for going to the extreme to save my life that day and all my other family that rushed to the scene to help clean up the mess. I was minutes away from certain death that day. I remember asking Jesus to come and take me home but then I realised if I died, Heaven was not going to be my home. I woke up the next evening in hospital where the madness continued. I was drinking wound cleaner to numb my mind!!!!!!! My brother in law – Wayne and my sisters came to take me out of hospital and moved me to their house where I would attempt to start over again. I soon moved back to my sister Pamela and could not shake the addiction on my own and eventually sold my phone for drugs. My sister had my arrested and I spent a week in jail.
I felt completely alone throughout my addiction and found myself without a place to stay more than once. Nobody wanted to know me anymore and everyone I called just never took my calls or said they would get back to me but never did. I was too ashamed to call my family for help as I had used them for ling enough. I realised how many bridges I had really burnt and how many people I had really hurt. My family was sick and tired of me and my lies and were also drained form all the chaos.

My relationship with God really began when I was in rehab for the first time in 2007. I gave my life to Jesus and I felt like a new person. I thought I was cured and swore blind that I would never use again. As my struggles continued, I always spoke to God when the going was bad, but when things were good I stopped going to Church and only sought God when I was in trouble.

I was really irritated with everybody around me and shirt tempered. I could never have a decent conversation without getting frustrated and aggressive because I was always in denial and lying 24/7. My lies ere catching up to me and I knew it, so I was always on the attack when people spoke to me. I treated my mom and dad with such disrespect that it sickens me to think about it.

I hit rock bottom when I was sitting in the Benoni holding cells waiting to go into court and I managed to borrow a cell phone from a guy inside and called my sister begging for her to drop the charges and she said NO. I realised then how alone I really was and not knowing what to do, I panicked. I started picturing the fact that my life is ruined I and didn’t want to accept it, but it was the truth and reality sunk in. my dreams changed from having big houses , fast cars , lots of money and beautiful women to just being able to buy an apple from the side of the road as a free man. All I could do while I was in jail was pray and tell other inmates about Jesus.

After a week in jail, I was diverted to Might Wings by the skin of my teeth. I was a nervous wreck though and didn’t know how I was ever going to come right. I went to see a doctor and diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I was put on even more powerful psych meds, which I ended up abusing and eventually relapsed on drugs and was sent to Enoch’s Walk for three months.

 

While I was there, I worked on myself by surrendering completely to the situation and worked on my relationship with God. I spoke to Him almost every second of the day and without Him, I would not be here today.

Matthew 11 verse 28-29 Jesus says “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you shall find rest for your souls”.

Whilst in Enoch’s Walk, I worked on my step 4 thoroughly and really dug deep – literally!!!! I am putting more effort into my recovery than ever before and I find that the more I put in, the more I am getting out.

Step 3 touched my heart, because I finally made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, because I can only ever be in recovery if I stop trying my way and do it his way.

God has helped me to surrender to a peaceful life and help me to communicate with love in my heart to all people. All my family relationships are better than ever and the two real friends I have are followers of Jesus Christ and we often talk of how amazing He is and what He has done for us in our lives.

I no longer walk in anger or hold resentments to past situations. God showed me some time back that I was carrying a lot of pride and judgement on my heart, since then I have made tremendous effort to let go of the past and forgive truthfully and move forward. Such peace I have attained from that. Although I am not healed, I am a work in progress.

Nowadays, I speak to God about everything and do not want to make any decisions without Him at all. I will rather wait than not know if something is from God and take a chance. By being patient, I found that God is always there, His timing is perfect and mine is always just a rush. I trust in Him for everything, and my favourite thing to do is praise and worship Him, at which time I just let go and it is amazing.

By working the program I am fining inner peace and now accept who I am. I am child of God and his plans for me are to prosper!!! I have realised that without Him I am nothing and without being the given the opportunity to come back to Mighty Wings, I would probably not be alive today. I am smiling everyday now and am truly grateful to be alive, alive in Jesus Christ!!! I do have potential in this life.

By working for Mighty Wings, it is helping me to embrace my recovery more than ever and I realise more and more each day how devastating addiction truly is.

To all the “new comers” out there – NEVER give up. There is victory if you want it and you are loved!!!

No matter what the situation, or how severe it is, there is always hope and you are not alone. You find yourself in a good place here at Mighty Wings, and we fight this fight together.

 

Ephesians 2:4-10 says “ But because of His great love for us , God , who is rich in mercy , made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are gods workmanship , created in Christ Jesus to do good works , which God prepared in advance for us to do.”